Brielle's birth story

Happy 1/2 year birthday to Brielle! It is hard to believe she's been here for 6 months already, and in other ways, hard to imagine life without our sweet girl. I made a goal for myself to post her birth story before she was 6 months old. Apparently I work better with shorter deadlines. I'm typing the story as I wrote in my journal nearly 6 months ago. Read on if you're interested in the details :)

A few days before Brielle was born

While it started in a similar fashion, everything else about this labor was a unique experience for me. With Shiloh and Avdon, labor started very shortly after I felt decent leaving my home visitation work for someone else to do. This time leaving was particularly stressful with deadlines, extra things like Gold and MIECHV that I didn't have before, and the 45-day deadline of Oct. 6. (Plus I wondered if just possibly Chris would get that job and we'd move to MN...). It was a lot to do and prepare for and I had an especially hard time getting everything done with my Burmese families due to problems with our translators that were out of my control. I was a stressed mess. My hope all week was to get things wrapped up by Friday. So Friday at 5:00 pm I left the building feeling good (not great, but good) about what I was leaving. Fairly regular, but not at all painful, contractions started right then and there as I was leaving the building, and I had a feeling it would happen over the weekend.

After midnight, probably 12:30, they started in for sure. I did my best to sleep through them, but didn't sleep well. I woke Chris up around 3:00 to have him help put Avdon's overnight diapers into the dryer so we could pack them soon. I was anticipating that at any minute these contractions would kick into high gear. I made it through the night with a fitful sleep at best. In the morning we finished up all the packing as we waited for labor to pick up (this was 9 days before my due date). I started timing the contractions. They were 8-10 minutes apart, sometimes even 20. I had to stop and breathe through them, but mostly stood or leaned against something. Chris took Shiloh and Avdon over to his parent's, or rather, met them at dance class and then came back home with me. I finished up some deep cleaning with the vacuum and got a few more things cleaned up around the house. We ate a fairly big lunch of leftovers and then in hopes of stopping or speeding up labor, I took a bath. It did neither. I took my time and pampered myself in the bath and painted my toenails. The contractions remained 8-10 minutes apart and 30-45 seconds long. I remember one distinctly. I was sitting on a stool in the kitchen and could feel the baby's head and so much pressure. It was so amazingly uncomfortable!

We eventually went on a walk. I was getting discouraged that labor was not going anywhere, thinking maybe it was all a false call, doubting myself, and wondering if we should go pick up the kids and have them home with us. The walk was the last thing I was going to try before getting the kids. The day was absolutely gorgeous. Other than the strange uncertainty of what was going on with my labor, the day was relaxed and spending time with Chris was wonderful. The walk was really nice and sped up contractions somewhat. They were about 5-6 minutes apart and lasted a little bit longer. I definitely couldn't walk through them, so we paused whenever I had one. We would have walked much longer, but I really had to pee and barely made it home in time. I sat down to rest and was planning on going back out to continue walking and hoping to go up to 4 Queens. Before long I didn't feel like going that far for ice cream and made my way downstairs to get ice cream here. I wound up on the couch and soon was feeling overwhelmed by my contractions. They were still spaced out, but definitely more intense and lasting longer. We tried calling the midwives and were unsuccessful at getting through. After several tries I decided we should just go. I was starting to doubt I could do this and felt nauseous. At the same time I felt mostly in control and the drive to Allen (about 4:50 pm) wasn't horrible. Unlike the other two, I did not find lying on my side to be the most relaxing, so sitting and reclining on my back was ok. They let me go straight into room 371, where I started to cry. Jessica met us in the room and I explained to her I didn't know why I was crying, but I wasn't sad. I didn't want her to think I was sad she was the midwife on call :). We got settled in and she checked me to find I was 6-7 cm, 90% effaced and at a station 0, "at least." She was surprised at how low the baby was. I wasn't too bothered by the monitors and remained reclined on my back, one leg stretched out and my right leg kind of bent. I remember thinking how weird it was that this position was the most comfortable. The contractions were spaced out, but often long and fairly difficult to get through. Jessica got the monitors off, lights down and

we finished up questioning with the nurse, Nancy, who was very sweet. I like it best when Jessica and Tess (our nursing student) left the room and it was just Chris and me. I mostly needed to hold Chris' hand to make it through contractions. I also used visualization again, really picturing what my uterus was doing. At several points in between contractions I was having conversations with Jessica and Tess and Chris, and thinking about how glad I was to have not gone to Aoife's birthday party and how strange it was that exactly a year before, I was joining Gina in her labor and now I was in labor myself!

Chris was encouraging me to get up, move around, anything but lie still, and I didn't really want to because I was so comfortable. Finally, though, I had to get up and go to the bathroom. I had a contraction in the bathroom and held onto Chris while I stood through it. I must have gone back to bed and everyone was gone out of the room again. It went quickly after that. I had a different sort of contraction, maybe 2, Chris asked if I needed to push, because at this point I was grunting and making some noise! He called the nurses and that was the beginning of the end. It went so fast and those contractions were so hard and never stopped once they started. Unlike the previous 2 babies, I felt completely out of control during stage 2. I was on my side and could hardly turn over. I barely was able to tuck my chin and pull my legs up and out. Jessica was asking me to relax my bottom or giving other suggestions, and I remember saying "I can't do anything!" I was hoping to use a squat bar and planning on "doing a better job pushing" with this baby, but there was none of that! And just as fast as it started, I was pushing out a baby. It hurts so bad, but yet the feeling of a baby's head and shoulders and torso coming out is something incredible. I didn't really get breaks between those crazy contractions, it just all happened so fast, and I am tearing up just thinking about how precious and wonderful it was. It's a girl! Of course it was, we knew deep down, but now we really knew, and she was here. She had a short cord, so she didn't reach very far up, but I held that warm, vernixy body on my belly, hearing her cry and being amazed and in shock that it was all over.

I was pretty uncomfortable, but got that placenta out, got a 2nd degree tear stitched up, Chris got the cord cut and held her closer. I think while I was getting stitched they weighed her and soon she was back and nursing. She was born at 6:49, not quite 2 hours after arriving at the hospital. She wouldn't have a name until 4:00 am, but when she got one, it was perfect. We stayed only 24 hours after she was born. The nurses Leah and Robi were incredible, taking such good care of us. And so she came. She was our little secret until 10:00 pm when we called our parents. Then late the next morning we alerted the world. We had a quiet, mostly restful stay. Third babies are great for that! What a gift, and how thankful to God we are! Brielle Ronen-God is my strength and song-the perfect addition to our family!

Normal life happenings

I thought I would start with our biggest news first: for the first time in years, rather than helping Shiloh take her hands out of her mouth, I encouraged her to keep them in and wiggle away. Only 24 hours after discovering her loose tooth, she let Daddy take a final tug this morning. She's thrilled to have reached this milestone, and is anxiously waiting to go to bed tonight. While not an overly sappy or sentimental person, I was the one crying when her tooth came out! For me, this milestone truly signifies that she's a kid now. It really does go too fast.

While Shiloh is losing teeth, Brielle is enjoying her gummy mouth and all the sensory input she gets from putting everything in it. No sign of teething yet, but this girl is a master at grabbing something and getting it to her mouth in record time.

Avdon is working diligently at learning how to write his name and spending time with Mommy playing. He wanted me to share this picture of his 4 snowmen. 2 of them have really big boots, bigger than the snowmen themselves. 

The dust is settling

Exactly 2 months ago we came here. It is hard enough to understand time when you're not caught in a whirlwind, but I can hardly grasp time at all right now. It feels like we have been here for a lifetime, but yet not at all.

Somedays I've cried about how amazingly perfect we are for this place and this place is for us. Other days I cry because this is so hard. I've shed tears over missed loved ones. And random, unexplained tears when the downtown skyline comes into view... we seriously live here?! Is this a good thing?! I've remained completely calm and had complete meltdowns. I've driven most places without getting lost or stressed (but a fair amount getting lost and stressed, usually with a non-car seat loving baby screaming). When the dust settles, or even when it is still swirling around us, I am in awe of God's faithfulness, goodness, and provision to us.

By grace and with lots of help and support from family and friends from all over, this is a synopsis of the last 2 months:

Thanks Steph for the fun gift of a s'mores kit 

• Moving a huge 4-bedroom house into a small (to us) 2-bedroom duplex. I love small. I can vacuum the whole place without unplugging the cord once! Chris says he wants to live in a one-room house with dirt floors someday. I think we have a ways to go before we can manage that, but this is a good start. We have both felt a strong urge to simplify our lives by simplifying earthly belongings, and the easiest way we have found so far is try and fit it all in here. We are nowhere near our goals and have been graciously granted some extra storage space in the basement by our amazing landlords while we sort through things some more.  BUT, the boxes are out of our living space, which has cut down on my stress levels. The kitchen and I tolerate each other. Some of my most "normal"feeling moments have been doing normal things like cooking dinner, even in my tolerated space. Love that even though we lost so much counter space, a dishwasher and a microwave, we have a quirky old gas stove. It was a secret prayer of mine to at least have a gas stove :). 

• Moving 3 small children, including a 2 month old baby. Wow. The older kiddos have had some huge life changes that are really sad to them, but at the same time are showing amazing resilience and we are glad to have made the changes now while they are young. I have not been great at communications with family and loved ones (sorry!) to keep everyone updated on their growth and fun here. I'll work on it! They have really begun to adapt well. 
• Brielle has been fairly fussy and not slept well the first 4 months of her life. But our routines have been non-existent, stress levels higher than normal and her sense that I desperately want or need her to sleep has been met with strong opposition. She would rather be held and snuggled and nursed. And that's what I would rather do too. We're making it work. I've cut dairy from my diet and that seems to be helping with fussiness, although it's hard to tell for sure. She really is a joyful baby and a joy to be with. Her smile pretty much melts my heart each time. She's rolling from tummy to back, grabbing toys in front of her, drooling, and bringing everything to her mouth. We just met (and are very happy with) our new doctor, who noted how strong she is. She has passed the 12 lb mark (still a peanut) coming in at 12th percentile for weight and 63rd percentile for height. She manages to draw a crowd wherever we go with her charm and pure cuteness.
• Avdon also draws a crowd with his beard hat. He can't go anywhere without someone commenting on it. He gets some time with just Mommy and Brielle while Shiloh is at school and he loves it. He may have had the hardest transition with giving up Mommy to a new baby and then shortly after moving everything he knows to a new place. He has gone from good to horrible to almost good again with potty training, a sign that he is doing better now! He enjoys going to Splashville (our version of Sunday school) and interacting with kids and exploring wherever we go. Just in the last couple weeks we have noticed a problem that was corrected with a minor surgery last year has reappeared. We have a referral to a new urologist here, but would appreciate prayers for healing. He has had fun exploring a huge indoor park, but really wants to take Shiloh with him. We need to work on finding some friends for him! He'll start preschool back up in the fall when potty and being away from Mommy are easier things.
• Shiloh will tell you "icky Spanish" if you ask her about preschool, but it is evident she loves her new school. And she loves learning Spanish in this immersion setting. Her teacher is wonderful and our short walk to school and violin lessons makes us wonder if we really want to leave this place when our lease is up. She has some great people skills in comforting new friends at school and Splashville. She is really excited to do anything we do. Except talk about kindergarten. I suppose one more change is a little too much to handle. We are entering the crunch time to choose schools. We have three tours set up to visit elementary schools (so we've narrowed it down quite a bit already). We'll go to a school fair and have already done a fair amount of research. Then we'll turn in our top 2 choices and be entered into a lottery system. Over 90% of families get one of their top 2 choices. Prayers for our process would be lovely.

  

  A blurry but good idea of Avdon's hat. Taken while learning about public transportation on a bus

• Moving right as the holiday season kicked off. In some ways this was one of the hardest things. Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years and everything in between is enough to drive me bonkers any year. But we managed. This season included two trips back to IA, a flood of guests here at our home (we've loved each and every visit!), a beautifully quiet day on Christmas, homemade gifts to cut costs, putting up a tree for the mood of us all but quickly getting it down to make space, and a busier-than-normal season to start a new job at a church, which brings me to...

One of our many guests-my sister Laura. Note the uncontrolled mess in the background, but tasty homemade pizzas and an enthusiastic prayer of thanks to God in the foreground

• Starting new jobs. While new jobs always come with a fair amount of stress and learning curves, the way Chris' position at Jacob's Well has gone (at least in our eyes) makes the move worth it. Hopefully they feel the same! He did feel overwhelmed starting out, much due to the busy church season, but has amazing co-workers, good support, healthy challenge, and lots to work on. He's getting to the point now of working ahead rather than playing catch up, which feels really good. We love, love, love being a part of the community and both can't wait to dig in deeper, get to know others better and serve in this unique place. Moving to a job within an established community has made this move so much more manageable. It's pretty amazing to come to a new place and have built-in friends and support. Wow. I didn't have to cook for the first 2 weeks, have had play dates, attended a marriage conference, co-hosted a party for the band, had Brielle baptized, and got 200+ personal tips for living in the Cities all from Jacob's Well. 
• Chris has his first guitar student, and we're feeling ready to have a few more. They help support our hobby of eating 3 times a day :) and Chris has really discovered joy in teaching.
• My new job is starting to seem real, and I'm wishing I could have some training! I've felt fairly inadequate with my role of "homemaker" (seriously? one can hardly call this a home!!) or "stay-at-home-mom" (get me out of here before the kids kill each other!!) and slightly lost without a "skill" or "profession" (I supposedly used to have them...). But it goes to show I have plenty of room to improve. I am extremely thankful for the opportunity to do this for and with my family and can't imagine having to do it another way.

Love this face!

So let's see. Is that all we've done in the last 2 months? More or less...

2013-Our year in pictures

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A season of blessings-Merry Christmas 2013!

As we enter the advent and Christmas seasons, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the seasons of 2013, which have been amazingly full of blessing.

This year has been an interesting season of growth, change, and new life. We started our year by celebrating our 30th birthdays with a trip to Sanibel Island, FL. Chris and I spent a lot of time doing nothing but sitting on the beach, relaxing, and exploring the beautiful and somewhat exotic place (we came face to face with a panther one evening!). We spent some needed time reflecting on our lives and praying for our family. Our hearts were stirred to pray for change.

The day before we left for Sanibel was marked with the season of new life. I assisted my dear friend Nicole with the birth of her first daughter. I also discovered on that day that new life was growing in me! Once the season of extreme fatigue and nauseousness was done, we entered a season of fervent work on projects around our home, knowing now from experience that it is very difficult to do anything "extra" once a new baby arrives (this is quite ironic if you know the rest of the story and know what we did when our baby turned 2 months old!).

Amidst our hard work around the house and cleaning out our belongings, we kept sensing a season of change was upon us. We prayed about and explored quite seriously the possibility of joining our good friends, the Clarksons, in mission work in East Africa. As it eventually became clear this was not our path, we made what I call "the poster." We drew circles on a large piece of paper and in the circles made lists of our gifts, passions, values of priority, and hopes for community. In the middle of the poster was one large circle that we left empty. We began praying for God to bring all the other circles together, somehow, in the middle.

In the midst of our prayers and preparation for a new baby, a season of busyness and activities for the kids began. In August, Shiloh turned 5 and Avdon turned 3, and shortly after, both started preschool. Shiloh loved going to school 5 days a week and spending time with her new friends. Avdon was a little hesitant to go to school, but enjoyed his time there, nonetheless. Shiloh also began taking Suzuki violin lessons, using Chris' 1/4 size violin and joined a dance class. She loved both of those activities. Avdon participated in another semester of Kindermusik. I continued working part-time and the kids spent time at Robyn's when I was working. Time with Robyn, and friends Ernie and Vera, is hands-down their favorite activity of all. We all love her and have been blessed beyond measure by Robyn! 

The beginning of August also brought a season of exploring, applying for and waiting to hear about a music and worship position in Minneapolis. A friend told us about the job opening that seemed perfect for Chris. 

On September 21, our new life arrived. We were thrilled to welcome Brielle Ronen into our family. While we began thinking of names for this child while we were in Florida, it wasn’t until several hours after she was born that we finally chose her name, which means “God is my strength and song.” We fell in love with her immediately and her siblings did as well. 

Our season of adjustment to life with a newborn was wonderful, although a bit challenging as we dealt with sickness the 2nd and 3rd weeks of her life. Everyone was finally on the mend when Chris was offered and accepted the position we first found out about in August. Then the madness really set in!

We began a season of goodbyes. The time went quickly, but we were able to spend moments with most of the people we treasure so deeply. We were richly blessed with many offers of help, gatherings, gifts, love and support. We could not have felt more loved and cared for. We miss our Iowa friends and family so much and already anticipate our next return trip so we can see you again!

We officially moved to Minnesota on November 23 and are in a season of boxes and new beginnings. On the home front, we’re plagued by way too many boxes! We cut our living space alone in half, not to mention the storage! So wading through our things and taking trips to Goodwill is filling lots of time! We are renting a perfect little duplex for now while we get to know the area and wait for our Iowa house to sell. 

It seems as if our poster and the empty middle circle is quickly being revealed to us in this place. While we know all the pieces are not yet in place, we feel so convinced that this move is perfect for us. Chris loves his job and is daily growing and being challenged. If we were overwhelmed by love upon leaving Iowa, we were certainly overwhelmed by love upon our arrival to Minnesota. The community at our church is fabulous and we have been immensely blessed! By the way, the church we gather with now is called Jacob’s Well. Take a minute to check out their website at www.jacobs-well.net. 

As for me, I will be staying home with the kiddos, or rather going out with them! We were blessed by season passes to both the zoo and the Children’s museum, and we made it our goal to explore the Cities every day we can. The season is just beginning, and we are so thankful for the One who orchestrated it all and eagerly await the ways we will serve him.

I could probably keep writing forever, but imagine you have something else to do! We pray this season will be a blessing as you anticipate and welcome Immanuel, God with us!

Our Year in Pictures-Enjoy!

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Merry Christmas 2012!

Shiloh...turned 4 in August and really keeps us on our toes. She loves art and threatens to use up the world's supply of glue and tape on a regular basis. When I asked Shiloh what she would like me to say about her, I got this report: "I love green, fruit, to watch Dinosaur Train, the Christmas tree, and to go to preschool."  I will add that she really loves learning and reading, being outside, her friend Ernie ( and being at Robyn's house), Kindermusik and Kindergym and her dollhouse. And while she may not say it, she loves her brother, is a wonderful big sister, and is developing a generous heart!

Avdon... turned 2 in August and is a ball of energy. He is a joyful little boy with the excitement and curiosity that comes along with being two. His language skills blow us away, and while he remains a little guy, he is very bright! Avdon likes diggers, reading, playing outside, Kindermusik, Shiloh and doing whatever Shiloh is doing.

Chris...Still teaching music lessons and still leading worship a couple times a month on more of a contract basis. This year was spent adjusting from going from the world of full-time ministry to full-time auto parts. It has changed our family life tremendously by having him home more often and he has learned incredible amounts about life and business from all the changes at his current job, including the set-up of an entirely new business of online auto parts. See www.virota.com (they go live in January!).
He's also learning a lot about remodeling as we gutted and completely remodeled the kitchen. He spent a couple weekends in Minnesota recording his new CD, which we hope to release early- to mid-2013. He is such a blessing to our family!

Erin...I keep up with the three mentioned above while still working part-time as a home visitor for Head Start :). After enduring the kitchen remodel from October through December (and hopefully not too much beyond!), I look forward to more time in the kitchen, and have already had priceless moments with the kids doing art or eating a snack at our new countertop spaces while I work away. I have started doing some of the premarital counseling sessions at our church, and found I really enjoy that. Another highlight of my year was standing in as a doula for a dear friend who had a baby this fall. I am very excited for the opportunity to help another friend through labor and delivery in  January. If that isn't enough to keep me busy, I also greatly enjoy investing in my small group from church, and teaching Sunday School and Bible studies.

Other highlights of 2012 include a summer trip to Colorado to visit family; celebrating with Chris' sister Noelle at her wedding and welcoming Uncle Chris to the family; a trip for Erin and Shiloh to  Columbus, Ohio to visit Jacque; weekend family getaway to Dubuque; weekend trip for Erin back to Colorado for Elicia and Dustin's wedding and a girls weekend with Erin's college roommates in  Chicago; time spent with dear friends the Clarksons, back in Iowa on a break from their work in East Africa; a ride for the kids on a boat, canoe, train, and horseback; Thanksgiving with Gram in Omaha, and lots of wonderful moments right here with family and friends.
 
Wow. When I type it all out like that, I am overwhelmed by the beautiful year we have had. We give  thanks to God for this special season in our life, while praying especially this time of year for those who have had to search much harder for their blessings. May you all experience the love and presence of God with us this Christmas!

Love,
The Family Trip